Eight myths about childhood grief
Eight myths about childhood grief
Helping children cope with the loss of a loved one can be difficult, but the process can be made problematic if approached with some common misconceptions. The Hospice Foundation of America identifies the following eight myths about children and loss:
1. Children do not grieve. While the child’s age, development, and experiences affect the grieving process, children of all ages grieve.
2. The death of a loved one is the major loss children and adolescents experience. Young people experience a wide variety of losses. These include loss of pets, separations caused by divorce or relocations, loss of friends and relationships, as well as losses due to illness or death.
3. Children should be shielded from loss. It would be impossible to protect children from loss. Instead, adults can teach children ways of adapting to loss by including young people in the grieving process.
4. Children should not go to funerals; children should always attend funerals. It’s important to allow young people to make their own choice. They should decide how they wish to participate in funerals or other services. It is the role of adults to provide information, options, and support.
5. Children get over loss quickly. No one gets over a significant loss. Children, like adults, will learn to live with the loss. They may revisit that loss at different points in their lives and experience grief again.
6. Children are permanently scarred by loss. While a loss is a difficult thing to overcome, children are resilient. Given solid support and strong consistent care, children can cope with a significant loss.
7. Talking with children and adolescents is the most effective approach to dealing with loss. Different approaches are helpful to young people. It’s important to talk openly with children and adolescents, but it is also helpful to let young people use creative approaches. Play, art, dance, music, and rituals are all valuable modes of expression that can allow them to say what words cannot.
8. Helping children and adolescents deal with loss is a family responsibility. Other people and organizations can share this responsibility. Hospice, schools, and faith communities can all offer necessary support. In times of significant loss, it’s important to remember that the ability of family members to help one another can be limited.
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